A friend of mine has been dating for a while.
She says dating has a bedroom culture.
You meet a guy, and he courts you for some time. Next, he wants sex from you. Or sex is the next goal. With no bedroom activity, it is like, what are we doing together? Where is the relationship going? What is the point?
But two people can date and get to know each other without intimacy.
It feels strange, though, because of modern-day practices.
I encouraged my friend to hold off. And the times are changing in her favor and yours as well. The bedroom culture is taking a hiatus. What is even more surprising? A PDA-loving couple leads the trend. Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are sex cleansing. Sex fasting is, as the name suggests, intentional celibacy.
From the looks of things, it has made other forms of intimacy more appealing for Kourtney and Travis. The duo can’t keep their hands off each other. Here’s why this trend is worth a shot.
…
Waiting is a stimulant.
Most people don’t appreciate what comes easy. Sex on a Friday morning before work feels like a chore when done every Friday. We don’t want routines. You want passion and excitement.
The difference here is you and your partner agree to abstain from sex. You don’t feel deprived of a happy ending. It’s a build-up to bomb sex after an agreed time frame.
Wait if you’re already lovers?
Medical News Today says not having sex for a long time should not have bleak health effects. Instead, it has several positive results for your mental and relationship health.
When you and your partner start sex fasting, allow yourselves to become that touchy couple. This act is about reconnecting.
It may not happen to you. But for many couples, sex is nerve-racking even after the first time. They don’t feel comfortable with their bodies or their performance.
Sex fasts are about re-valuing the little sexual pleasure like kissing and playful touching. Who doesn’t want to feel like legal-aged teens fooling around again? The idea sure sounds fun.
…
A unique expression of heat.
What if you are a couple who have sex to solve fights? Then, it is hard to communicate. Sex fasting means you will sit with the elephant in the room until you choose to talk with each other.
If you are both stubborn partners, this discussion needs more time to happen. You might even get loud with each other.
But poor communication contributes to break-ups, so this conversation is one worth having. And one that might not have happened if intimacy was possible.
…
“I was busy thinking about boys.” — Charli XCX.
Not all the changes associated with sex fasting are pleasant.
Before this fast, you might not realize how much of your life revolved around sexual activity. Men buy flowers to be romantic. Women dress down to get their men extra excited. Sexting, compromising, and other acts get done with the hope of bedroom reward. A sex fast lets you re-evaluate the purpose of your habits.
If you are obsessed with your partner, it gives you a chance to do more for yourself. For instance, you might clear your schedule to see your friends again.
What if you and your girlfriends only talked about men, sex, and relationship issues? You won’t have any steamy details to share.
But, you don’t have to exclude yourself from the conversation. Instead, you can take notes and use these when your celibacy ends.
…
It’s a physical detox.
After all, it is a cleanse. So, depending on your relationship with sex, it might be hard or easy for you to abstain.
If you only feel loved by your partner when turning them on, it will also be a challenge to commit to a sex fast. Who knows? A sex fast could be too much for you, and all you need is a change of scenery. Dating trends aren’t for everyone.
I see this as one of the more positive dating trends. The dating culture could prioritize the importance of sex in relationships a lot less.
You aren’t a television character. Your relationship needs a lot more layers than sex alone can provide.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
 What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
The post Sex Fast: A New Dating Trend Worth Trying appeared first on The Good Men Project.