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This is a comment by wellokaythen on the post “I Refuse to Believe That Men Like Cuddling“.
“I think this is just one more false dichotomy from the land of simplified gender ideas – you either want cuddling for its own sake, ‘innocent’ and independent of sex, OR you only see cuddling as a way to get sex and wouldn’t do it otherwise.
“There are other possibilities. Cuddling can be sexual even if it doesn’t lead directly to sex. Something doesn’t have to be foreplay to be sexual. For some men, cuddling is more or less pleasurable depending on what kind of cuddling it is. For me it depends a lot on where my hands and body are in relationship to my partner. An activity doesn’t have to lead to sex in order to be sexually stimulating. I can’t imagine I’m the only man who cuddled without expectation of sex but still fantasized about sex while I was doing it.
“By the same token, a man could enjoy cuddling AND enjoy the fact that it could evolve into foreplay. They don’t have to be exclusive of each other.
“And, once again we’re talking about something that’s relational, not just absolute. Some partners are more cuddle-able than others, and some relationships are less supportive of cuddling than others. A man could love cuddling one person in one relationship and have less desire to cuddle the person in a later relationship. Yes, ladies, some of you inspire more desire to cuddle than others do. It’s not all the man’s pre-existing condition. (If I may make a personal request: don’t use cuddling time as a moment to criticize your boyfriend or as a time to go over all the household projects you want him to complete or as a time to itemize his flaws. Just sayin’ … )”
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Photo credit: Flickr / Bree Switchenko
