These are comments by David May and Rick on the post “For The Love Of God, Please Stop Saying ‘Bromance’“.
David May said:
I’m middle-aged gay and I think it’s cute that these younger men have rediscovered the Romantic Friendship (as it used to be called). Bromance or Boy Crush, it’s sweet. Recently at a restaurant here in Seattle, I saw two straight couples meet for dinner. One man extended his hand to the other; the second man gave his friends hand a gentle slap before they embraced — and not the triangular straight boy embrace accompanied by pats on the back. I was touched.
Male friendships involve a courtship before it leads to the intimacy, so the terms are not unsuitable for the emotional rollercoaster that is Love in any of its myriad forms. I think the homophobia of post WW2 America repressed the Romantic Friendship in our culture, and I also suspect that, in our more permissive era, straight men learned from gay men that physically affectionate, emotionally intimate friendships are not unmanly. For many men (gay and straight) this new acceptance of the Romantic Friendship probably came as a revelation and relief.
So leave it alone, I say. Let the boys and/or call it what they will — but let’s support it.
Rick said:
Of course it’s a little amusing. One of my closest friends and I are famously bromantic. All the women (mom, sister, wife, girlfriend, etc) in our lives chuckle at it. Not in a mocking way, but because they find it endearing to see (in the words of one) “two people who are so easy and comfortable with each other.” They find it sweet, and fondly tease us about our bromance. It’s not mockery, any more than when his wife refers to me as one of the family she is mocking familial relationships or implying that only brothers should love each other this much.
I’m with David: this is a positive thing. It’s recovering the idea of allowing men to have emotionally close relationships outside of football teams and the military. I’ve never heard anyone use the term bromance to refer to two male friends in an unkind way. Hell, I’ve even heard a gay friend of mine refer to his friendship with a straight friend as a bromance. If anything, this is an acceptance of male-male romantic relationships, recognizing that two men who are very close might very well be more than friends.
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The post “Straight men learned from gay men that physically affectionate, emotionally intimate friendships are not unmanly.” appeared first on The Good Men Project.